Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
