I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
