i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
