I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
