oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What a dumb baby whore.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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