Your tits are I can't wait for
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A+ Viking dick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
