So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
