Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
