break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize