After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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