Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
