She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
