We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
