Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
