we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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