We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
