apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
