Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
