I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize