Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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