Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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