atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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