is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize