His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
