It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
