Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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