Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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