is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
