apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In other news, I just burned my penis
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
