Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
