I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
