Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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