just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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