You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
