If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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