I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize