I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
