Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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