____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
