just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
