she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
