If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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