Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They have beer where we have blood.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
