walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize