i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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