remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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