i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I didn't notice because vodka
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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