don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
