Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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