I will die if light touches me.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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