Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
