Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
