I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
