i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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