You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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