She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
