You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.