I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!