i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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