But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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