he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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